Repressed Grief & the Loss of a First Love: Ashley Jordan on Healing After Childhood Trauma

In this deeply moving episode of The Empowered Grief Journey Podcast, host Chris Mamone sits down with award-winning journalist and author Ashley Jordan to talk about a kind of grief many people experience—but rarely name: the loss of a first love in childhood and the long-term impact of unprocessed grief.

Ashley shares the story of Daniel—her childhood sweetheart—who was killed in a sudden accident just days before her 13th birthday. With no emotional tools or support system to help her process the trauma, she did what many people are taught to do: shut down, “suck it up,” and keep going. Years later, an unexpected trigger cracked the grief back open—and changed everything.

Together, Chris and Ashley explore:

• What it’s like to lose someone deeply significant at a young age

• How repressed grief can return later in life (even decades later)

• The emotional cost of becoming an “unhappy achiever” to outrun pain

• Why grief is connected to love, presence, and emotional aliveness

• How healing can include witnessing, meaning-making, and allowing the pain to move

Ashley also shares her book, The Unhappy Achiever: Rejecting the Good Girl Image and Reclaiming the Joy of Inner Fulfillment, and how her grief journey shaped the message behind it.

If you’ve ever felt grief resurface years after a loss—or you’ve carried a quiet heartbreak you never fully processed—this episode will help you feel seen and remind you: you’re not broken. Your grief is asking to be honored.